BREAKFAST
4 Hebrew National hot dogs. These are so good. No horrible ingredients and they taste very nice.
That is it. No lunch. No dinner. I forgot to take something to work, which is not a meal, just easy to eat snacks. Between clients. There were only three today. One is a regular, one other is always challenging (but really, really nice and I like him a lot), and a new person who came in with an insanely difficult problem concerning SSI documentation. We all rocked there today.
The day began with me locking my keys in the house. I knew the instant I heard the latch click.
I always keep a spare key in my bag. Always. Except for today. I looked. So, I started to walk to work and remembered that I do carry an extra car key, so I drove and was not late. Yay.
I called my landlord when that happened, but I could tell by his voice that he was super busy and told him that I would get a locksmith. I called two whilst waiting for clients. I could not understand anything the first one said, as their phone connection was horrible. The second one told me to call back when I was near the end of the day and a technician would set up a time for him to come. I did that. He said that he was in the neighborhood and asked if he could come right over. I skipped a task I needed to do today and raced home. In the car, but I did the speed limit. It seemed like racing because I was not walking.
I waited more than an hour. I must live in a really huge neighborhood. He came, introduced himself, worked on the lock for ten minutes and told me that he could not get it to open. Then, he took my last $75.00 and told me to have a nice day.
It grieved me to call my landlord again, but I did. I left a message. Then, I thought, hell, I did not do a perfect job of installing the little air conditioner in my bedroom. Yeah. I can go over there, pull it out, climb in the window and somebody's your uncle.
I forgot that this is house is not level with the ground, and whilst the windows look to be just fine inside, on the outside, the lower edge is higher than I am tall.
And, I thought, heck, I can do this. It would have been nice had I thought to break into my flat before I did commerce with the un-locksmith guy. However, it is still light and where there is a will there is a way. I could have gone all soft and just stayed overnight someplace until my landlord was available. Oh, unless the rush in his voice earlier meant that they were going away for the weekend.
Oh.
So, I went to the side of the house and tried to remove the air conditioner. Not only is a little air conditioner much heavier when it is stuck in a window over your head, than it is when you are inside your bedroom, but it leaks water on you, small gushes, but still. Worse was that I had fastened it more securely than I thought. Nice and all that if someone wants to break in, but since I was the person breaking up, the fact that I could even move it around a little was nice for me (the locked-out) it kind of freaked me out that I could move it at all.
I went to the lawyer office next door to ask if I could park my car in their driveway so that I could climb on my car to break into my flat. They were very nice and said that I could if I could do it quickly or wait until they closed the office at five.
Whilst I was waiting for them to go home, I returned to wrestle with the wee air conditioner, managed to get wet again, lose my grip and have it drop on my head and then finally heaved it up and into the room. Then, I went to wait until the lawyers left.
Car back into the driveway and perfectly positioned and I discovered that the old arthritis would not allow me to lift my leg high enough to climb up on the rear bumper. I used my porch chair and managed to step up and crawl onto the trunk. I braced myself against the house and stood up.
The gap between the trunk and the window was too great, so I eased myself up along the rear window frame, hoping that I did not pop the back windshield out. I got one knee on the window sill. I could not get my right knee up there because my bone-on-bone knee joints were not cooperating.
There I was, left knee on the sill, sort of balanced between the car and the house, still with a song in my heart and finally realized that the only way this was going to work was to abandon any notions I had about boosting my bulk onto the sill and swiveling myself into the room.
So, I did the only thing a responsible person, especially one facing the prospect of sleeping in the car, would do. I threw my upper body over the sill and into the bedroom.
I balanced there for a while, if you could call that balancing and then pushed myself forward, missing the wounded air conditioner and the red crate of art supplies I have been storing here.
Wedged between the conditioner and the crate, I tried to roll onto my side, hoping for a better fit and, well, I gave up and kept pulling myself into the room. My legs dangled for way too many minutes, but I made it. I dragged myself (knees not working) to my bed and pulled myself upright.
Now, the one question I have is, how serious is it that I smashed a bunch of those thin metal baffle strips when I crashed onto the conditioner? I hope not too badly.
And, I stood up, went to the door, opened it and retrieved my key ring from the shelf where it had been forgotten, locked and unlocked the door to make sure that the un-locksmith had not messed that up with his hammer. Yes, he used a hammer-like tool.
What with the changing of the car lights yesterday and breaking and entering my own flat, I am feeling preh T gud.
I received a call from the shelter where I lived two years ago and where I now work. One of the largest foundations in the country provides one of our biggest grants. Last year, I think, the director asked me to write my story as part of the grant application process. This year they want to use me in their new brochure(s). I am thinking about it.
Thinking will have to wait because I am eating delivery Chinese food (thank the goddess for credit cards) and waiting for Shark Tank to begin. Tomorrow morning I will be meeting my friends for coffee and next week when I have all those days off, I will be visiting a dinosaur museum and walking downtown to just sit, have a coffee and watch people.
I have the best life.
Friday, July 25, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Thursday
Wednesday
BREAKFAST
Leftover steak
LUNCH
bag salad
hot dogs - It was National Hot Dog Day, and the ones I ate were meat and seasonings without any preservatives or stuff like that.
DINNER
bag-o-shaved-deli-corned beef
I had this bag of corned beef because I was going to mix it with sauerkraut, heat it up and douse with bottled thousand island dressing.
Unfortunately, I do not have a can opener. Ooopsie. So, I ate just the meat.
Thursday
BREAKFAST
sweet potato, microwaved, butter, pepper and some salt on the last bits because they did not have any butter or pepper taste.
LUNCH
4 pieces of fish sushi
some baked chicken, meat only
green beans
a handful of cubed potatoes and a whole glob of wasabi - very yummy
watermelon
coffee
soft drink
Yes, I had to eat out and went to my favorite Asian buffet. I showed great restraint and did not fill up on their amazing hot and sour soup, that is thick and chock full of seaweed, mushroom stems and bits of tofu. Instead I ate healthy choices, aside from giving into temptation for the potatoes, sushi and green beans. I ate very little, at least for me, and left barely satisfied, which satisfied my desire to eat well and minimized the fact that I chose that place to eat instead of going to a grocery store and buying a salad.
DINNER
drive-through burger and fries
In my defense, today was stressful (including a thoroughly distressing visit to my cell phone provider) I was stopped by a police officer and given a warning about replacing the driver's side brake light bulb, stopping at the auto place, buying a pack of replacement bulbs, tearing the trunk apart to get to the place where you can replace the bulbs, and discovering that you cannot do that from inside the car.
This is the car Iwas forced to take got in the divorce, that miserable piece of metal parts that has cost me a small fortune to fix all the stuff that my ex knew needed fixing and then charged me back an insane amount of compensation. I am dumb, but at that time I was incapable of standing up for myself and just let him and his family fuck the beans out of me during that entire time and on through the final decree.
The car does not have a manual and I had to figure out how to remove the entire assembly, with only a little pliers. And, I did it. It took me a half hour, but I figured it out, removed the whole light section, replaced the bulb and got it all back together. The best part is that it worked! Too cool.
So, hot and tired and relieved that I was able to figure that out, I drove through a fast food place and ate on the way home. I am sad to report that it tasted more wonderful than I could have ever imagined, and that has nothing to do with not having to cook it myself. I ate only part of the bun bottom and the fries were cold and did not have any salt on them, but, oh gosh, it was so good.
Had I not already started feeling a tiny bit uncomfortable about eating out twice today, I swear that I would have driven back and bought more fries. So good.
The thing that happened at work on Sunday, the one for which I was feeling ashamed, turned out fine. When I went to our director to share what I had done, instead of cautioning me to avoid doing anything similar in the future, she told me that making up my own rules for that circumstance is exactly what she wants me to do, what she wants all of the advocates to do, but that she does not expect that the other will take the initiative to do anything like what I did.
Wow.
I work tomorrow and Sunday and then have a whole bunch of days off. Yay.
Tomorrow is back to eating well. I plan to buy more corned beef and make that mixy-mess. On Monday I will be looking at replacing the refrigerator here. The landlord should be doing this, but is not going to and I am tired of losing food in that crappy freezer. If I find one I can afford, I will take it with me when I move, if I move.
I am also going to look for a few new pieces of clothing. I do not have any warm weather clothes, just all the stuff I wear year-round. I would like some short sleeved tops, although I suspect that I will not be willing to spend the money. Maybe I will do this. Maybe not.
I am hoping to find something social to do next week. I really would like to have a personal life, you know, doing something more than working. I am thinking to start small. Walk downtown and have a cup of coffee or lunch or something. Maybe I will just sit in the square (yes, how quaint we are here), read and watch people. Maybe someone I know will wander past. Maybe I will walk down to the beach and sit on the rocks. Maybe I will walk down the block and look at the house I would like to buy.
BREAKFAST
Leftover steak
LUNCH
bag salad
hot dogs - It was National Hot Dog Day, and the ones I ate were meat and seasonings without any preservatives or stuff like that.
DINNER
bag-o-shaved-deli-corned beef
I had this bag of corned beef because I was going to mix it with sauerkraut, heat it up and douse with bottled thousand island dressing.
Unfortunately, I do not have a can opener. Ooopsie. So, I ate just the meat.
Thursday
BREAKFAST
sweet potato, microwaved, butter, pepper and some salt on the last bits because they did not have any butter or pepper taste.
LUNCH
4 pieces of fish sushi
some baked chicken, meat only
green beans
a handful of cubed potatoes and a whole glob of wasabi - very yummy
watermelon
coffee
soft drink
Yes, I had to eat out and went to my favorite Asian buffet. I showed great restraint and did not fill up on their amazing hot and sour soup, that is thick and chock full of seaweed, mushroom stems and bits of tofu. Instead I ate healthy choices, aside from giving into temptation for the potatoes, sushi and green beans. I ate very little, at least for me, and left barely satisfied, which satisfied my desire to eat well and minimized the fact that I chose that place to eat instead of going to a grocery store and buying a salad.
DINNER
drive-through burger and fries
In my defense, today was stressful (including a thoroughly distressing visit to my cell phone provider) I was stopped by a police officer and given a warning about replacing the driver's side brake light bulb, stopping at the auto place, buying a pack of replacement bulbs, tearing the trunk apart to get to the place where you can replace the bulbs, and discovering that you cannot do that from inside the car.
This is the car I
The car does not have a manual and I had to figure out how to remove the entire assembly, with only a little pliers. And, I did it. It took me a half hour, but I figured it out, removed the whole light section, replaced the bulb and got it all back together. The best part is that it worked! Too cool.
So, hot and tired and relieved that I was able to figure that out, I drove through a fast food place and ate on the way home. I am sad to report that it tasted more wonderful than I could have ever imagined, and that has nothing to do with not having to cook it myself. I ate only part of the bun bottom and the fries were cold and did not have any salt on them, but, oh gosh, it was so good.
Had I not already started feeling a tiny bit uncomfortable about eating out twice today, I swear that I would have driven back and bought more fries. So good.
The thing that happened at work on Sunday, the one for which I was feeling ashamed, turned out fine. When I went to our director to share what I had done, instead of cautioning me to avoid doing anything similar in the future, she told me that making up my own rules for that circumstance is exactly what she wants me to do, what she wants all of the advocates to do, but that she does not expect that the other will take the initiative to do anything like what I did.
Wow.
I work tomorrow and Sunday and then have a whole bunch of days off. Yay.
Tomorrow is back to eating well. I plan to buy more corned beef and make that mixy-mess. On Monday I will be looking at replacing the refrigerator here. The landlord should be doing this, but is not going to and I am tired of losing food in that crappy freezer. If I find one I can afford, I will take it with me when I move, if I move.
I am also going to look for a few new pieces of clothing. I do not have any warm weather clothes, just all the stuff I wear year-round. I would like some short sleeved tops, although I suspect that I will not be willing to spend the money. Maybe I will do this. Maybe not.
I am hoping to find something social to do next week. I really would like to have a personal life, you know, doing something more than working. I am thinking to start small. Walk downtown and have a cup of coffee or lunch or something. Maybe I will just sit in the square (yes, how quaint we are here), read and watch people. Maybe someone I know will wander past. Maybe I will walk down to the beach and sit on the rocks. Maybe I will walk down the block and look at the house I would like to buy.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Still Tuesday, but without the S&M
BREAKFAST
salad with avocado and tomato, vinaigrette
It upset my stomach, but no more than that. Whew.
LUNCH
small taco salad, iceberg lettuce (my favorite, but not nutritious enough), a couple of black olives, some sour cream, a miniscule amount of taco-seasoned ground beef and lots of hot salsa.
amazing coffee
roll, with cinnamon butter, which tasted like there was some sugar in there, too.
DINNER
cherries
small steak, I accidentally ate a piece of the fat and it was delicious. Like, really yummy. I planned to have half of it for lunch tomorrow, but it was so good that I ate the whole thing.
Long day, which included a lunch I did not want to have. Sometimes it is easier to give in and give up. My friend simply has to eat whilst we are out. I understand all that. I seem to be her single remaining friend in this city, heck, the state.
She told me that her daughter finally shared the reason that she drove her back here two weeks ago. The family was going camping last weekend and they did not want her alone in the house. So, the logical thing was to:
- Not tell her why she had to pack and get in the car.
- Bring her back here, where she would be alone in her own house, as she always is.
I am not judging, but that is totally fucked up.
The whole family is coming to the big city south of us for a baseball game. Her daughter told her that if they have time, they will might stop by for a visit. Not all that bad, it is just that it seems like a taunt. Just saying.
Our visit to the aging agency was nice. One of the women who works there recognized my voice (I do not know exactly how to process that) because I took one of her classes a few years ago and she not only caught my voice in the hallway, but she remembered my name. She looked familiar because I can remember faces more easily than names.
The actual meeting was awkward. I suspect that the man leading it was new, as in brand new. He was nice, but he spent at least a quarter of the hour explaining every single program and resource they offer or know about. Every single one.
With the help of the woman part of the team held it all together and we managed to wrestle out the information that will help my friend, especially regarding affordable transportation for those times when she has appointments when I am working. Plus, we had that lunch beforehand. Then grocery shopping. For someone who did not need anything, I came home with a big bag of fruit and meat.
Then, when I went to bring the car around, it would not start again after we loaded all of the stuff in the trunk. I had to get all of my friend's food back into a cart and fool around until the poor thing would start. I think between the heat, 90sF, the air conditioning on high and who know what can upset a car, I must have flooded the carburetor. Or, something.
Then home for my friend and I was so exhausted from the heat that I apologized to the undone laundry, came home and immediately spent the next few minutes in the shower. Even my brain was hot. I sweated through all of my clothing, and with laundry not done, I cannot find anything light enough to wear at work tomorrow. I really do work in this tiny bat cave that does not have any air circulation. I have a small fan. Yeah.
So, work tomorrow and Friday. Then on Sunday and not again until the following Sunday.
I am going to clean and organize my flabby butt off. I have a grant to write. I need time to be able to get to the post office when it is open, well, how dumb is that...like it would help anything to go there when it is closed, but you know what I mean. I have not had even one day in the past three weeks when I was not working or volunteering during all of the post hours. Man.
I am planning on at least one day helping my friend find and interview at another agency that offers exchanges of services provided by and provided to seniors. Not what I had planned, but it has to be done and all of this is helping me to not be so afraid for her. Today she was nearly fifteen minutes late coming out of her house (she does not want me to come to the door for her) and I was going to give it the full fifteen minutes before I went to see if she had fallen and could not get up.
Bed, book, charge phones, sleep and a nice day at work when I get up. Nice. My life is really nice.
salad with avocado and tomato, vinaigrette
It upset my stomach, but no more than that. Whew.
LUNCH
small taco salad, iceberg lettuce (my favorite, but not nutritious enough), a couple of black olives, some sour cream, a miniscule amount of taco-seasoned ground beef and lots of hot salsa.
amazing coffee
roll, with cinnamon butter, which tasted like there was some sugar in there, too.
DINNER
cherries
small steak, I accidentally ate a piece of the fat and it was delicious. Like, really yummy. I planned to have half of it for lunch tomorrow, but it was so good that I ate the whole thing.
Long day, which included a lunch I did not want to have. Sometimes it is easier to give in and give up. My friend simply has to eat whilst we are out. I understand all that. I seem to be her single remaining friend in this city, heck, the state.
She told me that her daughter finally shared the reason that she drove her back here two weeks ago. The family was going camping last weekend and they did not want her alone in the house. So, the logical thing was to:
- Not tell her why she had to pack and get in the car.
- Bring her back here, where she would be alone in her own house, as she always is.
I am not judging, but that is totally fucked up.
The whole family is coming to the big city south of us for a baseball game. Her daughter told her that if they have time, they will might stop by for a visit. Not all that bad, it is just that it seems like a taunt. Just saying.
Our visit to the aging agency was nice. One of the women who works there recognized my voice (I do not know exactly how to process that) because I took one of her classes a few years ago and she not only caught my voice in the hallway, but she remembered my name. She looked familiar because I can remember faces more easily than names.
The actual meeting was awkward. I suspect that the man leading it was new, as in brand new. He was nice, but he spent at least a quarter of the hour explaining every single program and resource they offer or know about. Every single one.
With the help of the woman part of the team held it all together and we managed to wrestle out the information that will help my friend, especially regarding affordable transportation for those times when she has appointments when I am working. Plus, we had that lunch beforehand. Then grocery shopping. For someone who did not need anything, I came home with a big bag of fruit and meat.
Then, when I went to bring the car around, it would not start again after we loaded all of the stuff in the trunk. I had to get all of my friend's food back into a cart and fool around until the poor thing would start. I think between the heat, 90sF, the air conditioning on high and who know what can upset a car, I must have flooded the carburetor. Or, something.
Then home for my friend and I was so exhausted from the heat that I apologized to the undone laundry, came home and immediately spent the next few minutes in the shower. Even my brain was hot. I sweated through all of my clothing, and with laundry not done, I cannot find anything light enough to wear at work tomorrow. I really do work in this tiny bat cave that does not have any air circulation. I have a small fan. Yeah.
So, work tomorrow and Friday. Then on Sunday and not again until the following Sunday.
I am going to clean and organize my flabby butt off. I have a grant to write. I need time to be able to get to the post office when it is open, well, how dumb is that...like it would help anything to go there when it is closed, but you know what I mean. I have not had even one day in the past three weeks when I was not working or volunteering during all of the post hours. Man.
I am planning on at least one day helping my friend find and interview at another agency that offers exchanges of services provided by and provided to seniors. Not what I had planned, but it has to be done and all of this is helping me to not be so afraid for her. Today she was nearly fifteen minutes late coming out of her house (she does not want me to come to the door for her) and I was going to give it the full fifteen minutes before I went to see if she had fallen and could not get up.
Bed, book, charge phones, sleep and a nice day at work when I get up. Nice. My life is really nice.
S, M and Tuesday
Sunday was a mess.
BREAKFAST
leftover steak
LUNCH
1/4 cup of the leftover guacamole
celery
SNACK
big cup of homemade nut mix
DINNER
nothing; I was too tired when I got home at 11:30 p.m. and went straight to bed.
Monday
BREAKFAST
nothing; chose sleep instead
LUNCH
grilled American and mozzarella cheese, tomato and bacon, on marbled rye sandwich
small order of sweet potato fries
catsup
6 jalapeno poppers; I tore the cream cheese tops off and plucked the pepper halves from the breading, and then ate one of the torn-off cheese and breading pieces, too.
Between therapy and the art class, I returned a phone call from my doctor's office. It was the results of my tests last week. The results are not good. I have to experiment with some stupid statin drug. I have never, ever, ever had a single blip on my cholesterol levels. My blood glucose results are really bad. Something else was not great, but I cannot remember what it is. They think I have celiac disease and I am going to allow that test when I go back in October to test again for how the statin med is working.
Granted, it is barely three weeks since I started eating better, although when thinking about the testing results, nothing I have been doing could have even a potential effect on any of the problem areas.
So, in true J form, I mood altered with lunch. Frankly, there is only an Eastern European and a sports themed restaurants within walking distance, and the sports place was the easy choice. I ordered the sandwich and then, with hardly a pause, added the fries and poppers, which I intended to share when I walked back, but my lunch companions did not want any. Yummy, but bad for me, big-picture wise.
DINNER
half of a steak
cherries
melon
Bummed out from the phone call and stupid lunch, I stopped at the discount market to get vegetables and they had t-bone steak on sale for $4.00 a pound. I bought two, came home and cooked them. They are like mush, and do not taste all that great. They are in the refrigerator and I will probably chop them up and toss in a pan with vegetables, may make a curry.
Looking back, I had barely one meal on Sunday and hardly more on Monday.
Today I had a salad with tomato and avocado and I feel tummy-troubled, but that might be because I am upset about this whole food mess. Someone at one of my jobs keeps trying to convince me to get one of the bullet machines and chop stuff into a smoothie. I would probably use it a couple of times, and unless I gave it away, it would sit around somewhere, just mocking me in its expensive and pompous manner until I gave it away. Sounds like an exercise in heartbreak and regret to me.
I wanted to laze around today. Instead I am taking my older friend to lunch and then to a meeting with an aging specialist to plan some being safe classes and find other resources that might allow her to stay in her home. We will stop for groceries on the way home and then I have to get to the laundromat. Clean bedding is calling my name.
I just got off the phone with her and we have to do something. The we is her and me. I am simply the person who takes her where she wants to go, but this morning's telephone conversation reminded me that I am her only social contact in this city. All of her friends have moved away or are dead. The sweet desperation in her voice when trying to keep me on the phone is something that I would like to see turned around. My preference is that she would have to end her conversations with me because she had other things to do. I am tired.
BREAKFAST
leftover steak
LUNCH
1/4 cup of the leftover guacamole
celery
SNACK
big cup of homemade nut mix
DINNER
nothing; I was too tired when I got home at 11:30 p.m. and went straight to bed.
Monday
BREAKFAST
nothing; chose sleep instead
LUNCH
grilled American and mozzarella cheese, tomato and bacon, on marbled rye sandwich
small order of sweet potato fries
catsup
6 jalapeno poppers; I tore the cream cheese tops off and plucked the pepper halves from the breading, and then ate one of the torn-off cheese and breading pieces, too.
Between therapy and the art class, I returned a phone call from my doctor's office. It was the results of my tests last week. The results are not good. I have to experiment with some stupid statin drug. I have never, ever, ever had a single blip on my cholesterol levels. My blood glucose results are really bad. Something else was not great, but I cannot remember what it is. They think I have celiac disease and I am going to allow that test when I go back in October to test again for how the statin med is working.
Granted, it is barely three weeks since I started eating better, although when thinking about the testing results, nothing I have been doing could have even a potential effect on any of the problem areas.
So, in true J form, I mood altered with lunch. Frankly, there is only an Eastern European and a sports themed restaurants within walking distance, and the sports place was the easy choice. I ordered the sandwich and then, with hardly a pause, added the fries and poppers, which I intended to share when I walked back, but my lunch companions did not want any. Yummy, but bad for me, big-picture wise.
DINNER
half of a steak
cherries
melon
Bummed out from the phone call and stupid lunch, I stopped at the discount market to get vegetables and they had t-bone steak on sale for $4.00 a pound. I bought two, came home and cooked them. They are like mush, and do not taste all that great. They are in the refrigerator and I will probably chop them up and toss in a pan with vegetables, may make a curry.
Looking back, I had barely one meal on Sunday and hardly more on Monday.
Today I had a salad with tomato and avocado and I feel tummy-troubled, but that might be because I am upset about this whole food mess. Someone at one of my jobs keeps trying to convince me to get one of the bullet machines and chop stuff into a smoothie. I would probably use it a couple of times, and unless I gave it away, it would sit around somewhere, just mocking me in its expensive and pompous manner until I gave it away. Sounds like an exercise in heartbreak and regret to me.
I wanted to laze around today. Instead I am taking my older friend to lunch and then to a meeting with an aging specialist to plan some being safe classes and find other resources that might allow her to stay in her home. We will stop for groceries on the way home and then I have to get to the laundromat. Clean bedding is calling my name.
I just got off the phone with her and we have to do something. The we is her and me. I am simply the person who takes her where she wants to go, but this morning's telephone conversation reminded me that I am her only social contact in this city. All of her friends have moved away or are dead. The sweet desperation in her voice when trying to keep me on the phone is something that I would like to see turned around. My preference is that she would have to end her conversations with me because she had other things to do. I am tired.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Day...ummm...Day-Satur
I need a sticky postie thing to keep track.
BREAKFAST
celery
guacamole
a couple of dried apricots
LUNCH
1/2 cup of potato salad
DINNER
1 cup of my own trail mix (roasted and salted cashews, dried apricots, raw slivered almonds)
10 cherries
So sad. Just plain sad. First of all I forgot that I am avoiding potatoes and some of the stuff that goes in it. Like commercial mayonnaise, sweet pickles, something else that I cannot remember right now. That lapse might be worth it because even though it was on the sweet side and I prefer a less saucy and more savory potato salad, it was delicious. And, I was glad to have it, not having anticipated how long my day would be.
Today was also a long day at the shelter. Well, I guess since it is almost 1:00 a.m. on Sunday, that would be yesterday. Anyway, lots of drama, a family conflict (resident and her sister), the sons of another resident going missing. I found them and they were safe, but, crap, what a mess, especially as the mother did not go looking for them and I had them sitting in the office for more than a half hour, just waiting to see if she would at least start trying to find where the hell they were. So many challenging circumstances for our women. More than we have had in a long time, which, in shelter years, is not all that long. Yep.
However, two women, one of whom as two really nice sons, pitched in and worked their asses off today. I do not swear at work, so I have to make up for it here. The woman with the sons cleaned better, more thoroughly than anyone else in the house. Like ever. The last time I witnessed that level of cleaning was when I lived there and the person who did that high quality of a job was me. Yes. Yes, it was.
Then, we had our fresh food delivery today; we have them every two weeks, and it costs right around $500.00 each time. It also costs a good hour of really intense and heavy work, getting everything sorted, frozen, refrigerated and put into the dry pantry, as well as stocking two big places in the office. Those four folk just stepping right up and helped me get that stuff done is short order, well, that short hour.
I like to reward that kind of effort, especially when it is accompanied by the happiness some people have in being helpful for the good of all of the house. So, I asked each of them, independently, what they missed from their other life now that they are at our shelter.
The mom knew exactly what she missed. Eye liner. Is that not insane, that the one thing that could make her life nicer is a measly eye liner.
The younger son would not tell me what he missed, but I see him drawing on the blackboard in the children's room, and I asked if he liked art. Mom said yes, that he did and I asked him what he liked to do. Draw. Paint. Stuff like that.
The older son would not say, either, so I finally told him, shy guy that he is, that if he did not tell me I was still going to get him something and that it might as well be something he would like. Shyly, he told me earrings. I asked what kind and he said little ones. Studs? I guess. I corralled his mom later and she was feeling weird about all of this and we talked about how part of my mission there was not only doing the job, but making sure that I was able to be personal when it was appropriate to do so. Then she told me that he likes a certain kind of square earring. O.K., baby, more info. I had to pry every bit of this out of her, but eventually she told me where to go and to say, "I wanted those square earrings that all the boys are wearing." I went, it worked and the cost was so minor and I bought him a pair of the good Sony ear buds at the pharmacy where I got the stuff for his mom.
Younger son got a really nice and big art bin that was on sale and within my budget. Older son got the earrings and ear buds. He was so surprised that I found what he likes, so I had to share that his mother helped me. He later came down to model them for me. I cannot remember when I did something like this and it gave me such pleasure. Little things can mean more than anyone can express. Their family had to leave without anything and this little thing worked for him. I feel blessed and humbled by the whole thing.
I found the best ever eyeliner for mom and at the check-out there were the most wonderful nail polishes and she likes nail polish (I am not sure that I really get the whole nail polish thing) and I found two colors that I know she likes and a bottle of top coat.
The fourth person, another woman, finally told me that she missed her jewelry. Another simple thing. I am taking a bunch of the jewelry I have made and she can choose what she likes. But, she has to wait until tomorrow because I had gone shopping for the other things, realized that I had left my phones at the shelter and since I had to return there, gave out the other stuff.
And, when I came back then, the 2nd shift advocate was not feeling well and I sent her home and stayed until about an hour ago. So, I had no opportunity to go home for my home-made stuff.
I work again tomorrow, 2nd shift this time, so scheduled so that I can go to church in the morning, but it is kind of clear that I will not be getting up for the service. Off to wash my face, scrub my teeth and read myself to sleep. A shower will have to wait until morning...or early afternoon...depending on when I wake up.
Today was not a good eating day, but in my defense, I did not have access to the kind of food I needed. I have some guac and celery left over for tomorrow and I have a nice tomato and bag of salad to take, and maybe a can of that mushy tuna that I love. I have meat for breakfast/brunch/whatever.
I am still full of wonder that I am so happy now. It hardly seems possible, and at the same time it feels so right and like the kind of life I have now is manageable and enduring. It also hardly seems possible that I made it through to happiness. Just wonderful. I know that I have earned this now-new life and it is equally nice that I have earned the right and means to live it as fully, interestingly, carefully and abundantly as I am doing.
I work next week and then have another week off, except for my shelter job. Nice.
BREAKFAST
celery
guacamole
a couple of dried apricots
LUNCH
1/2 cup of potato salad
DINNER
1 cup of my own trail mix (roasted and salted cashews, dried apricots, raw slivered almonds)
10 cherries
So sad. Just plain sad. First of all I forgot that I am avoiding potatoes and some of the stuff that goes in it. Like commercial mayonnaise, sweet pickles, something else that I cannot remember right now. That lapse might be worth it because even though it was on the sweet side and I prefer a less saucy and more savory potato salad, it was delicious. And, I was glad to have it, not having anticipated how long my day would be.
Today was also a long day at the shelter. Well, I guess since it is almost 1:00 a.m. on Sunday, that would be yesterday. Anyway, lots of drama, a family conflict (resident and her sister), the sons of another resident going missing. I found them and they were safe, but, crap, what a mess, especially as the mother did not go looking for them and I had them sitting in the office for more than a half hour, just waiting to see if she would at least start trying to find where the hell they were. So many challenging circumstances for our women. More than we have had in a long time, which, in shelter years, is not all that long. Yep.
However, two women, one of whom as two really nice sons, pitched in and worked their asses off today. I do not swear at work, so I have to make up for it here. The woman with the sons cleaned better, more thoroughly than anyone else in the house. Like ever. The last time I witnessed that level of cleaning was when I lived there and the person who did that high quality of a job was me. Yes. Yes, it was.
Then, we had our fresh food delivery today; we have them every two weeks, and it costs right around $500.00 each time. It also costs a good hour of really intense and heavy work, getting everything sorted, frozen, refrigerated and put into the dry pantry, as well as stocking two big places in the office. Those four folk just stepping right up and helped me get that stuff done is short order, well, that short hour.
I like to reward that kind of effort, especially when it is accompanied by the happiness some people have in being helpful for the good of all of the house. So, I asked each of them, independently, what they missed from their other life now that they are at our shelter.
The mom knew exactly what she missed. Eye liner. Is that not insane, that the one thing that could make her life nicer is a measly eye liner.
The younger son would not tell me what he missed, but I see him drawing on the blackboard in the children's room, and I asked if he liked art. Mom said yes, that he did and I asked him what he liked to do. Draw. Paint. Stuff like that.
The older son would not say, either, so I finally told him, shy guy that he is, that if he did not tell me I was still going to get him something and that it might as well be something he would like. Shyly, he told me earrings. I asked what kind and he said little ones. Studs? I guess. I corralled his mom later and she was feeling weird about all of this and we talked about how part of my mission there was not only doing the job, but making sure that I was able to be personal when it was appropriate to do so. Then she told me that he likes a certain kind of square earring. O.K., baby, more info. I had to pry every bit of this out of her, but eventually she told me where to go and to say, "I wanted those square earrings that all the boys are wearing." I went, it worked and the cost was so minor and I bought him a pair of the good Sony ear buds at the pharmacy where I got the stuff for his mom.
Younger son got a really nice and big art bin that was on sale and within my budget. Older son got the earrings and ear buds. He was so surprised that I found what he likes, so I had to share that his mother helped me. He later came down to model them for me. I cannot remember when I did something like this and it gave me such pleasure. Little things can mean more than anyone can express. Their family had to leave without anything and this little thing worked for him. I feel blessed and humbled by the whole thing.
I found the best ever eyeliner for mom and at the check-out there were the most wonderful nail polishes and she likes nail polish (I am not sure that I really get the whole nail polish thing) and I found two colors that I know she likes and a bottle of top coat.
The fourth person, another woman, finally told me that she missed her jewelry. Another simple thing. I am taking a bunch of the jewelry I have made and she can choose what she likes. But, she has to wait until tomorrow because I had gone shopping for the other things, realized that I had left my phones at the shelter and since I had to return there, gave out the other stuff.
And, when I came back then, the 2nd shift advocate was not feeling well and I sent her home and stayed until about an hour ago. So, I had no opportunity to go home for my home-made stuff.
I work again tomorrow, 2nd shift this time, so scheduled so that I can go to church in the morning, but it is kind of clear that I will not be getting up for the service. Off to wash my face, scrub my teeth and read myself to sleep. A shower will have to wait until morning...or early afternoon...depending on when I wake up.
Today was not a good eating day, but in my defense, I did not have access to the kind of food I needed. I have some guac and celery left over for tomorrow and I have a nice tomato and bag of salad to take, and maybe a can of that mushy tuna that I love. I have meat for breakfast/brunch/whatever.
I am still full of wonder that I am so happy now. It hardly seems possible, and at the same time it feels so right and like the kind of life I have now is manageable and enduring. It also hardly seems possible that I made it through to happiness. Just wonderful. I know that I have earned this now-new life and it is equally nice that I have earned the right and means to live it as fully, interestingly, carefully and abundantly as I am doing.
I work next week and then have another week off, except for my shelter job. Nice.
Friday, July 18, 2014
a dozen days
BREAKFAST
3 ounces of leftover steak from last night, what was left on the bone.
LUNCH
Nothing. I was at work and could not leave the lab.
DINNER
6 ounces of broiled cod
3 cups of roasted vegetables (zucchini, yellow squash, carrots, onions, red & green bell peppers)
salad, with red onion and lemon wedges
best decaf coffee ever
The older woman for whom I provide care has returned from that other state where her family lives. This woman, who is a dear friend, deserves her own post and I will try to do that tomorrow night after work/shelter. Anyway, I drove to her house and we went out for dinner (the only way that I know she eats relatively well) and then we went grocery shopping for her, another way to monitor what she eats. She can no longer drive and we are meeting next week with our county's aging specialists to gather resources for her so that she can stay independent for as long as possible.
SNACK
cherries
It is insane how delicious and insanely inexpensive cherries are this year. I shopped for a few vegetables and fruit and a small on-sale steak and 2 liter bottles of diet white soda when I took my friend shopping. I have cherries left to take for lunch at work tomorrow, along with guacamole, celery, pickled vegetables and a plum.
I made a serious effort to eat more today. Instead of carbs (totally amazing home made chewy rolls, as good as home cooked baked potatoes and a bread pudding to completely knock your socks off) at that restaurant, my friend's favorite, I asked for, and received, an extra portion of the roasted vegetables. They are very simply roasted in the oven with a little olive oil, a toss of salt, no other seasonings, and are so good.
We eat there as often as she likes and have never, ever, ever had a bad anything, not even anything mediocre. Everything is made from scratch, and fresh several times over the day. My fish was not removed from refrigeration and cooked until I ordered it. My friend often has duck, but tonight ordered her second favorite, ribs. They are covered with their own BBQ sauce only after having spent the entire afternoon slowly roasting until the meat is tender enough to eat with just a fork. Frankly, if I had the resources, I would eat there every week. That is how good the food is, and the people are really nice, too.
It has been a long day, finally ending at 8 p.m. and Mr. Mercedes, Kermit the hero and I are going to bed. Five comes awfully early.
And, how is it possible for Vincent D'Onofrio to be so cute. I have such a crush on him.
3 ounces of leftover steak from last night, what was left on the bone.
LUNCH
Nothing. I was at work and could not leave the lab.
DINNER
6 ounces of broiled cod
3 cups of roasted vegetables (zucchini, yellow squash, carrots, onions, red & green bell peppers)
salad, with red onion and lemon wedges
best decaf coffee ever
The older woman for whom I provide care has returned from that other state where her family lives. This woman, who is a dear friend, deserves her own post and I will try to do that tomorrow night after work/shelter. Anyway, I drove to her house and we went out for dinner (the only way that I know she eats relatively well) and then we went grocery shopping for her, another way to monitor what she eats. She can no longer drive and we are meeting next week with our county's aging specialists to gather resources for her so that she can stay independent for as long as possible.
SNACK
cherries
It is insane how delicious and insanely inexpensive cherries are this year. I shopped for a few vegetables and fruit and a small on-sale steak and 2 liter bottles of diet white soda when I took my friend shopping. I have cherries left to take for lunch at work tomorrow, along with guacamole, celery, pickled vegetables and a plum.
I made a serious effort to eat more today. Instead of carbs (totally amazing home made chewy rolls, as good as home cooked baked potatoes and a bread pudding to completely knock your socks off) at that restaurant, my friend's favorite, I asked for, and received, an extra portion of the roasted vegetables. They are very simply roasted in the oven with a little olive oil, a toss of salt, no other seasonings, and are so good.
We eat there as often as she likes and have never, ever, ever had a bad anything, not even anything mediocre. Everything is made from scratch, and fresh several times over the day. My fish was not removed from refrigeration and cooked until I ordered it. My friend often has duck, but tonight ordered her second favorite, ribs. They are covered with their own BBQ sauce only after having spent the entire afternoon slowly roasting until the meat is tender enough to eat with just a fork. Frankly, if I had the resources, I would eat there every week. That is how good the food is, and the people are really nice, too.
It has been a long day, finally ending at 8 p.m. and Mr. Mercedes, Kermit the hero and I are going to bed. Five comes awfully early.
And, how is it possible for Vincent D'Onofrio to be so cute. I have such a crush on him.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Day elevenith
BREAKFAST
Nothing. I was fasting for blood tests. I sort of forgot about it, had dinner at 8:00 last night and woke hungry and almost immediately aware that I had to wait until at least 11:00 a.m.
LUNCH
salad
really good coffee
After my med appointment and tests I went to the bank, just to make sure I had the amount of money I thought was in my checkbook. There was. Cool, so I treated myself to lunch at the diner down the street. It was a small, expensive and kind of measly bowl of stuff. But, it filled me up and I went to do laundry.
Whilst waiting for wash-rinse-repeat-dry to finish, I had a couple of pieces of dried mango, the last of the stuff I bought last week, along with two squares of 90% cocoa chocolate. It was fabulous.
DINNER
cherries
slab of beef
This time I ate the whole steak and again was not hungry for anything else.
This still looks like not enough food, but I am really satisfied by what I am eating. Really, who would have thought that I would begin to enjoy meat so quickly, every day and all that. I have a couple of pieces of very lean sirloin in the freezer, some cod fillets and lots of salad in the refrigerator, as well as a nice cantaloupe on the counter, because I read something on Yahoo! about the foods that you should not refrigerate because it messes with the antioxidants. Or something. Half of that melon will be breakfast before I go to work.
I also bought two more turkey thighs and will roast them tomorrow night for dinner and lunch at work on Saturday.
Did you know that hot dogs cost as much as nice steak? Well, they do. I was going over the receipt for the last shopping trip and, having never actually looked at the shelf price of the hot dogs, I was surprised to find that I could buy real steak for the same price. Yikes. I was checking out the ingredients, which are quite healthy, by the way, and never thought to figure out what the cost would be. I have yet to eat any of them, concentrating on the slab-o-beef, but will take some to work on Sunday.
I just read again what I ate, and it does not seem all that much. Regardless, it was enough to make me feel well fed.
Oh, and whilst I had no intention of weighing myself, they did so at the clinic today and despite my best efforts I looked at the display on the scale. So, I will have some idea of what my body mass will make of this new eating.
And, because it was laundry day, two weeks of laundry, and I did not have any clean clothes left, I put on a shirt that I cannot wear because it is too tight. I have no idea if how it fit me, comfortably and quite loose, is because of the past week and a half, but the darn thing was just fine. Go figure.
Nothing weird happened today. That is weird.
Did you know that if you yawn a lot, as I have been doing for the last hour, it means that your brain is too warm? Really? Now, I guess that is the weird thing for today, even if it is probably incorrect.
Nothing. I was fasting for blood tests. I sort of forgot about it, had dinner at 8:00 last night and woke hungry and almost immediately aware that I had to wait until at least 11:00 a.m.
LUNCH
salad
really good coffee
After my med appointment and tests I went to the bank, just to make sure I had the amount of money I thought was in my checkbook. There was. Cool, so I treated myself to lunch at the diner down the street. It was a small, expensive and kind of measly bowl of stuff. But, it filled me up and I went to do laundry.
Whilst waiting for wash-rinse-repeat-dry to finish, I had a couple of pieces of dried mango, the last of the stuff I bought last week, along with two squares of 90% cocoa chocolate. It was fabulous.
DINNER
cherries
slab of beef
This time I ate the whole steak and again was not hungry for anything else.
This still looks like not enough food, but I am really satisfied by what I am eating. Really, who would have thought that I would begin to enjoy meat so quickly, every day and all that. I have a couple of pieces of very lean sirloin in the freezer, some cod fillets and lots of salad in the refrigerator, as well as a nice cantaloupe on the counter, because I read something on Yahoo! about the foods that you should not refrigerate because it messes with the antioxidants. Or something. Half of that melon will be breakfast before I go to work.
I also bought two more turkey thighs and will roast them tomorrow night for dinner and lunch at work on Saturday.
Did you know that hot dogs cost as much as nice steak? Well, they do. I was going over the receipt for the last shopping trip and, having never actually looked at the shelf price of the hot dogs, I was surprised to find that I could buy real steak for the same price. Yikes. I was checking out the ingredients, which are quite healthy, by the way, and never thought to figure out what the cost would be. I have yet to eat any of them, concentrating on the slab-o-beef, but will take some to work on Sunday.
I just read again what I ate, and it does not seem all that much. Regardless, it was enough to make me feel well fed.
Oh, and whilst I had no intention of weighing myself, they did so at the clinic today and despite my best efforts I looked at the display on the scale. So, I will have some idea of what my body mass will make of this new eating.
And, because it was laundry day, two weeks of laundry, and I did not have any clean clothes left, I put on a shirt that I cannot wear because it is too tight. I have no idea if how it fit me, comfortably and quite loose, is because of the past week and a half, but the darn thing was just fine. Go figure.
Nothing weird happened today. That is weird.
Did you know that if you yawn a lot, as I have been doing for the last hour, it means that your brain is too warm? Really? Now, I guess that is the weird thing for today, even if it is probably incorrect.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)