abundance from the other side

The past couple of weeks have been interesting and have given me the means to express another viewpoint I have on having.

I know my life is abundant because I do not have to pack all of my belongings into a big duffel bag and haul it around with me all day because if I leave anything where I live, it will be taken by other people.

I know my life is abundant because I do not have to stress over where my next meal is coming from.

 I know my life is abundant because I do not have to fear becoming ill.

I know my life is abundant because I do not have to be painfully uncomfortable during the cold, icy and windy winters here.

 I know my life is abundant because I do not have to worry about my safety when I am asleep.

I know my life is abundant because I have not destroyed all of my relationships with alcohol or other drugs.

I know my life is abundant because I have the choice of not having some things so that I can have other things that make more sense for me, like trading the convenience of having a fancy phone for having Internet access here at home.  Or not eating out and using that money to provide some services to other people who are in the same desperate circumstances in which I found myself last year.

I know my life is abundant because I have done the hard work that is required to heal and recover from the extraordinary life experiences of the past few hundred years.  I absolutely know that my life is chock full of hope and promise and the ability and willingness to take possibilities and make all things possible.

I kissed a girl and I liked it...nuh...this afternoon I kissed a cat and we both liked it.  I made a second visit to the shelter and might have found a cat that might like to live with me as much as I might like to live with him.  He is a lively 13-year-old tabby who was surrendered last week by a family who had to transition his owner into a nursing facility. 

Oh, what to do.  I miss CoolCat so much.  Ordinary, unrelated noises make me think that I am still hearing him around here.  I have muscle memory that makes me think he is still here.  I thought, always thought that it would be too difficult to not have a cat around me.  I will forever miss CoolCat and Lilliput, and it is only time before I adopt another cat, but it just does not seem the right time.

Maybe it will never the the right time and I just need to let things happen without stressing.  But, gosh, that cat today, Tiger, is in much the same place as I am.  I never should have stopped by there today.  I am not ready and now all I can do is wish him well and wish him a new, hopefully forever family.

Crap.