I just listened to a voice mail from the director of the agency that offered me a job a few weeks ago, and which I declined two weeks ago.
I really, really, really wanted to accept that job. It is the penultimate expression of what I love to do and it makes sense and good use of my training.
I struggled with that decision. I wanted, still want, to do both of them. How could I pass up an opportunity to do the work for which I trained? How could I give up the work I already am doing and love more than I can often express?
I finally chose regret as the determinant.
Would I regret passing on the offered job? Would I fret over a salary? The job was at an agency that helped me when I was homeless, the shelter that kept me safe back a couple of Februaries. I adore the people there. There is absolutely no inter-facility problems. It is the most flawlessly run shelter ever. No one on staff ever has and problems with any other staff members, and that might not seem like a big thing, but that kind of atmosphere is essential for women and their children who are homeless because of domestic violence.
Would I regret leaving the work I am now doing? Would I stress over...hell...no further thought...I knew that I would be staying exactly where I am. Instant decision satisfaction.
I had informed my current director/boss about the offer, but only to find out if there were any changes in the near future that would have any kind of impact on the work I do there. Once I knew that there would not, the choice was made. I am staying.
Except for this mornings voice mail. The director's message was that she would like me to consider taking the job and that she wanted me there at any cost, even if I could give them only a single day each week.
I left a message for her this evening that I am interested in that and that we can get together whenever she likes. Although, I am not available on the three days I work the rest of this week, I think that I will be one of their employees within a few weeks.
I am pleased and reassured that doing the right things for the right reasons is serving me well. I will have to quit being a part of the DV support group there, but that is something I can find a way to manage.
Wow. Just wow.