Identify what is most important )0( Eliminate everything else
The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world. Dr. Paul Farmer
The suffering of others is not alleviated when no one knows about it.
There is no one right way to live. Daniel Quinn Ishmael
The only thing that you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right sort of people.
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. Kurt Vonnegut

Monday, June 2, 2014


Liquids go in.  Coffee, juice, martinis.  Fruit and vegetables.  The cooked rice that was cooked in a big pot of water because if you are going to cook rice you may as well make a really big pot of the stuff.  Diet soft drinks...divine.  Carbonated water...nice, but not all that divine, although better than plain water, which is what you are supposed to be drinking most.  I mean, who came up with that?

Liquids come out.  That's it.  Only one form and with few variations.

When you are at a certain age, you pee more than at other times in your life.  At least it seems that way.  Maybe it is more about the ability to control exactly when your bladder needs to be emptied, or perhaps, more properly, the inability to eliminate extra liquids when it is convenient instead of whenever gravity or irregular muscle tone allows the stuff to leak out of you.

This happens during two periods of life.  Infancy/toddlerhood and old older age. 

Not only are diapers accepted for little ones, they are considered cute.  You know, the soft, brilliantly white cloth ones as well as the adorably patterned disposables.  Yeah.  I know that there are adorably patterned cloth diapers and diaper covers, but those were before my time as a young younger mother, and I really am not all that interested in them.

When you get old older, you can, if you like, wear diapers to remain less socially repulsive, and to keep you from having to wash your big girl panties and trousers less frequently than every other day.

In addition to to adult diapers, which are decidedly not cute or adorably patterned, there are Kegels, an effective and relatively invisible exercise, and surgery.

Kegel exercises are easy to remember when your bladder unfriends you at the supermarket.  Or, during church services.  Or, whilst at the park with your grandsons, or traveling on that stretch of highway between here and the weekend conference (for which you are already dangerously late), the stretch that does not have any exits for miles and miles.  No place to stop and relieve one's self unless you are more comfortable being shamed or even ticketed for indecent exposure, all the while praying that you do not end up as the humorous and embarrassing end-of-the-nightly-news anecdote.

Kegels are so easy to forget to do.  Have a couple of months days hours of being able to make it to the bathroom with time to spare and exercising becomes less of an immediate issue.  Back to being leaky, well, you know.

I had a day full of stuff to do, going as fast as I could between all that stuff and finally managed to find a restroom when I was at the bank.  Nice bank.

Not all older women have old-babe bladders, but I do and it is a bother.  I can never unconsciously pass up an opportunity to have a sit before I start off for something.  Sometimes.  I guess the that is still a minority of the time, but when you gotta go, you just must.  I have not progressed to adult diapers, but I did see a commercial on television for a non-bulky, nearly custom fit diaper for ladies.  I can still get by with the old pads, but it is probably only a matter of time.

Yes.  I know . Big picture, small problem.  If all I have to complain about is that I very occasionally stress about being able to make it to a restroom, then I should not be complaining at all.  But, you know, this does not feel like a complaint, not even a whine.

This is social commentary.  O.K., maybe not, but it is an aspect of aging that can be inconvenient, especially when you do not have many lower-body articles of clothing.  It is a teeny problem,

But, no one likes to worry about hygiene and being stinky because you forgot to bring along extra clothes. 

I do not like being stinky.  Yep.

Poor me.  My life is so hard.  Thud.


  1. Thank fark I'm not the only one! The problem is particularly bad when I've had a few too may wines and I then have to make a mad dash to the loo! I hate to admit it but I there have been a few times when I haven't made it! Oops! I do, what Joe calls, the Susie shuffle, it involves do the walk! Ya know the walk that the athletes(atheletes my arse!) in the walking race! Well that's waht I look like! I reckon that's how that sport started! Some old birds trying to make it to the pisser!! lol!

  2. That is brilliant!

    Next time it happens...wait now...any moment...never mind, fine right now. Anyway, the next time it is about to happen, I am going to pretend that I am in training for a race.

    Now that I think of it, it will explain the way that I am moving AND it will give the impression that I do actual physical activity.

    Just plain brilliant.

    Now, about the dust around here...

  3. J, too much information. LOL!


  4. LOL I have only scratched the surface, were there a surface capable of being scratched. :)

  5. I hate when I sneeze or cough too hard and a little pee happens...I call it "piddling". :)

  6. Manifesting your inner puppy?