Identify what is most important )0( Eliminate everything else
The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world. Dr. Paul Farmer
The suffering of others is not alleviated when no one knows about it.
There is no one right way to live. Daniel Quinn Ishmael
The only thing that you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right sort of people.
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. Kurt Vonnegut

Monday, February 23, 2015


I met with my accountant friend this afternoon and decided to chat with my old therapist and attend the support group that follows whilst I was there. 

The accountant was chosen by my ex-husband to do our final year together tax reports.  He chose him because he was expensive and because he...the ex...had all the money and I had nothing.  This was at the very end of the divorce process and by that time the house was sold and I had to use my half of the proceeds to pay my legal debt.  It would have been nice to have that money, but using it was worth the other stuff.

So, anyway, when I received the notice from the ex's attorney, all very snarky by the way, I was surprised and pleased to find that the accountant was one of my fellow school-parents from when our children attended parochial elementary and high school.  When he saw me arrive for our appointment, he gave me a huge hug and, well, during a very difficult time he was just plain wonderful.  Turns out that he is expensive and deserves the fees he charges.  He is going to teach me how to do the specific tax stuff I need to do now and this will probably be the last time we do this together.  I have known him for for nearly forty years and whilst getting rid of other stuff in my life is good, breaking this tie to him and his family is more sad than I would have guessed.

A short session with my old therapist was nice and it turned out that I spent an extra hour and a half counseling one of the group members.  It was very satisfying to have another opportunity to use all of that training. 

Even good things are stressful and I really have to find a clean pair of big girl panties and get out there and find an internist and a therapist.  It is so hard.   I have an improved health insurance plan, so if the first choice is not a good match, at least I can try again with someone else without becoming impoverished jumping from one doctor to the next. 

Despite a decent day I am tired and feeling down and having anxiety attacks (little ones) all over the place.  I cannot even watch television because seeing any kind of mean-spiritedness upsets me and I end of taking all that fictional stuff personally.  The local news had me weeping last week and I just have to stop watching it.  I should stick to zombie filums; they are so outrageous and I get to cheer for the dead/undead and living alike.  Go pale people!

Tomorrow I am learning how to make paper roses from the pages of old books.  Go crafty people.


  1. Do you think you're unsettled because you have gone back to where it all happened. I'm just making an assumption here of course that it is where you other life was?

    1. Actually, this move was, finally, away from the before time, and, you know, maybe that is part (or the whole) of it. The moving away part.

    2. Ah right, then it's a good thing, now begins the first day of the rest of your life. May you be truly happy mate, no one deserves it more than you xx

  2. You have mentioned the accountant before, J and it sounded like he was a really nice person. Can't blame you for not wanting to watch TV. If it is anything like here most programs are not worth watching at all. I have never seen a zombie film to be honest :-)