fine

Dear Diary,

So, you know how when you ask someone how they are and they always say 'fine' or something like that?

Well, none of us, well, hardly any of us, a few of us do not want to burden anyone else with the crap buffet our lives can be sometimes, so we answer 'fine' should someone be so bold as to risk asking us how we are.

Anyway, my therapist always begins our sessions with asking me how I am.  I say 'fine'.  Then, she asks me to rate how I am feeling by grading it, as in A for great or B or C or D or F for really messed up.  At least she used to ask me to grade my feelings.  Thank goodness she stopped.  I guess that means she is a good therapist.  Yep.

Last week's session started the same way, with her asking and then mentioning the grading system.  However, I was ready for her and told her that I knew that she would ask and that I was tired of just saying 'fine', but that it really was what worked for me, as compared to just about everyone else I really and truly am fine.

Whilst feeding the parking meter before going inside the clinic, I thought about what I wanted to say and this is what I have.

I am on my way to hoping to be fine.

Well.  It sounded all right when it was in my head and then when I said it aloud.  Now, seeing it in print, well, it looks kind of dumb.  But, I cannot think of anything else, so it has to be fine.

Maybe I should try to think of something new each week.  Like, I am fine, but I was better yesterday.  Or, I am well...grounded.  Or, something.  Ha!