First of all, I have so much abundance in my life that it is shameful for me to want anything, and I mean things that are other than material. All my whining about being lonely and afraid is just so much crap. Same thing for meaning and who knows what else; I cannot remember all of the angst I have been spewing over the past months.
I know what poverty is, had it as a child, we were a large family, lived in the country, and were certainly not alone. I really did not know how little we had until high school. The middle part, that other life was much better financially. I did not share much of my ex's resources, but I made my own money and was able to take care of what needed taking care.
Past year and a half has brought me back to my early days and I am more than grateful that I know how to live without lots of things, like money. I am still waiting for the financial stuff to finish, and when that happens (I am no longer willing to say "if", as it does not serve me in any positive way), I will not have to worry about paying my bills, which are pretty frugal anyway.
Anyway, and I am certain that I have been expressing this for some time, I am stopping crying poor and most especially poor me. I have enough stuff to last me several lifetimes. Fortunately, I was a clean freak and brought all of those products along with me. Now that it is just me, and perhaps another cat in time, there is hardly anything to clean. Unless I take something to use and it stays out of place for a while, it looks like no one lives here most of the time. But, I digress and I am finally accepting that the abundance in my life is more than I need. So, no more of that crap.
And, these are the proof the abundance faerie folk have treated me well.
In the process of finally unpacking I found some more clothes, a pair of sandals, a bra and a two top sheets. Yay. I have never found my winter coat, but did well without it last winter because someone gave me a woolen shawl or cape or floppy coat or whatever it is. Layered, it works a charm. Since this place has only one small closet, maybe four feet wide, it is such a pleasure to have all of my clothes, like every single thing, with room left over for paper toweling, toilet paper, seldom used kitchen stuff and my laundry basket. Yay.
I am ready for winter temperatures, have all of my fleecy pants, my socks and a black, zippered sweat suit jacket with a hood. I suppose it is a hoodie, and have no idea why I had to describe it otherwise. I still do not have lights on at night, which really makes a huge difference when the bill comes every month. Mild weather costs, without the furnace, have been around $30-35 per month. I am not looking forward to another $166 heating bill, though.
I am keeping the thermostat set at 52F, will dress warmly indoors and I stopped at one of the big hardware stores yesterday and bought a large roll of that window plastic that you tape up (bought the special tape, too). It looks like I will be able to do two windows with that stuff, with some left over so that the boys can shrink-wrap some of their toys. Yay.
I stopped at Aldi for fresh vegetables and came home with those along with a couple of those over-the-door hanger things. They were marked down to $1.99 because they are kind of flimsy, but the hanger part looked deep enough to fit over the freakishly thick doors here. So, now there is one in the little closet that holds the circuit breaker and one over the front door, on the inside, so that I will be able to hang my wet coat this winter, instead of jumping and trying to toss it over the top of my bedroom door.
Now, does that sound, any speck of it, like someone who is poor? I thought so. And, if people will stop trying to hire me to be a case manager or vocational counselor...like I could really do either of those jobs, I mean, what are they thinking...and I can find a part-time job doing what I trained to do, then my cups will overfloweth like crazy.
Oh, I almost forgot about the weekend. I met my friends for coffee yesterday morning. It was nice and I kept steering my part of the conversation away from all of the political stuff that is beleaguering everyone, although not me because I think I know everything, donchano. Hah!
I took every last piece of textiles to the laundromat, and except for what I wore yesterday and what I am wearing today and the fresh sheets on my bed, every single item is cleaned and put away. Yay.
Sometime on Thursday I broke the little toe on my left foot. It might have been at the laundromat. Whilst I am not whining or groaning and moaning about all that other stuff, I would like to share that my toe and foot hurt like the dickens. Like any good, responsible health consumer I went to the best medical resource, the Internet, and if it should ever come up, the traditional, probably folk-lorish as well, remedy is that there is no remedy and you should just tape the broken toe to the toe next to it. It is helpful to know that that remedy causes more pain. Just saying. But, no griping. None. Not any more.