This crap will never end. I can write all the self-empowerment poetry, think all the positive thoughts, release all of my fears and vulnerability and it will not make a fucking bit of difference.
The latest from my attorney today is that my ex is still insisting that I file joint income taxes with him for last year. I am not doing that, as I would have to pay for the tax liabilities he incurred by fucking me over with the investments. He continues to remain in non-compliance with the court orders...all of the damn things...and my best guess is that he is planning on my usual compliance, doing whatever he wants, however he wants it done, without comment or resistance of any kind.
Those days are over.
Unfortunately, taxes must be filed by the middle of April. Fuck.
Between the gutting of the investments and the insane amount of money I have already spent on attorney fees, well, all of this is so distressing. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckityfuck.
When the next utility bill arrives I will probably have a break-down. And, I found out today that I have to stop looking for a job (not that I have had any luck for the past seven months) because if I am gainfully employed before this is resolved that status could complicate things.
Complicate? This will never be resolved. He is keeping me tied to him with all of this stuff and will not be happy until I am destitute. I want to hate him so much and I just cannot get beyond the pain to a place where I can fully despise him. Not even a little.
Maybe I am improperly medicated.
And, I was trying to do something different, like make dinner using an actual recipe. Epic fail and now I have wasted those resources as well