Identify what is most important )0( Eliminate everything else
The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world. Dr. Paul Farmer
The suffering of others is not alleviated when no one knows about it.
There is no one right way to live. Daniel Quinn Ishmael
The only thing that you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right sort of people.
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. Kurt Vonnegut

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

life altering ideas

Dear Diary,

I am a kind of pain in the ass about this stuff, even to myself.

First of all, it is the judgmental part of me that keeps poking her nosy, opinionated, assholish self into all sorts of places.  Most of the time I can hold my peace, bite my tongue, get the hell over myself.  Sometimes I cannot.

Oh, like when I hear someone being judgmental about someone else, particularly when that person being judged is simply different in whatever, life practices, beliefs, how she/he does things or does not do things, even things like how someone dresses or shops or the things she/he has that the other person does not believe she/he should have (maybe no one should have) if she/he were as dedicated to whatever the judger thinks should have some kind of dedication.  Like being green, or living simply, or technology, or how she/he raises their children/chickens/goats/vegetables. 

I have to be honest and say that I cannot think of an example right now, but I am certain that my inner judge is going to rear her ugly opinions any moment now.

So, that is my first life altering idea.  I will work, like seriously and with fullness of intention and heart, work on not being so judgmental.  About anything. 

I pretty much can do that at work, even though some of the front desk people are driven to distraction by some of the weird stuff my clients do.  I can laugh it off because I have been doing this for a long time, and they have not.  All they see is how disruptive these people can be, and I am in complete agreement about that.  People, no matter their disability or whatever it is that compromises their ability to behave well in public, still have to behave well in public. 

I might have mentioned this already, but I had a client last week who was very difficult.  She lied to several people and caused trouble, plain and simple.  When she and I were finishing, she commented that she would be making a complaint report the following day about one of them.  I told her that if she behaved only half as scattered and rude with them as she did in my office (well, sort of an office, more of a bat cave), that she owed them a huge apology. 

She gave two of them little apologies, but it was probably more than anyone had asked of her in a long time.  She and I have lots of work in our future, and I have to say that I was, still am, proud that she did at least try.  Frankly, that is all we should be expecting from other people, that they just try their best.  Maybe that is what we should be expecting from ourselves, as well.

So, no more, or at least a dramatic reduction in the judging that I do, even the judging thoughts in my head, which is where they mostly are, but they should not be there either.

I want to give this a few weeks, see how I do and if I can sustain being a nicer person, before I move on to one of the several dozen life altering ideas I want to incorporate into my life.  One of them has to do with chocolate, but I am planning on deliberately failing that one.  Sort of sweet, dark, melty, bitter, soul-supporting lovliness.  Not gonna do it.  Really, who can blame me.  Really.

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