anxiety

I have not been able to completely shake last week's twitchiness.  I got ready to meet my friends for coffee/breakfast yesterday, got in the car, started out of the driveway and backed into my parking space.  Came in the house, got into my house clothes and called S to say that I would not be coming.  Said I was not feeling well, which is not a total lie, because I felt like totally twitched-out crap. 

I told the same thing to my daughter today. 

It is true, it is just not some kind of cold or flu that they assumed I had.  As long as I do not have to lie, they can make any inference they like.  As long as no one shows up with chicken soup or cookies, no foul, no penalty.

So, needing to do something that did not involve leaving the house, I decided to spend today organizing my work room.  I hauled some of the stuff from the storage place and moved things around enough to begin setting up the shelving units and I am exhausted.

I am also happy because I found art materials that I thought were long gone, as I did as much donating and divesting and tossing as I could last year.  Not having a place to live, as well as a small storage unit, all that stuff, as sad as the process was, simply had to go.

I suspect that there is still much more to donate out to one of the shelters and the school where I mentor.  I am ready and willing to let just about anything go and am not dreading this new round of divesting.

I still feel like a wreck, but I put that energy to good use today.  Feels good.