100 that is *.
It was not about personal growth as I remembered, but about doing something every day to make the world a better place.
How egotistical for a person who thought she had that under control.
So, off to search and discover what else I have forgotten about the project.
About doing something creative each day
100 Happy Days
Can you be in a better mood for 100 days? Happier?
Lots more, but not that original one that I found just when I needed to make something better. Whatever it was, I cannot find that original thing on-line, so that must mean that I am misremembering it.
However, I did find the stuff I had saved from my own project *. And, I am thinking that it would be nice to factor in that component of making the world a better, more loving place in my own wee ways. Perhaps I could combine positive thoughts about myself and others, seeking happiness or joy or contentment creativity into some mash of some vague everything that I seem to be wanting right now.
I talked to the folk where my divorce settlement monies are kept for, I thought, my financial security. In the four-plus years since that final decree I have not touched any of that money.
My frugal living preferences mean that I can live on what I have, no matter what that actual amount might be. I have more available since earlier this year when my ex died and when I began receiving a portion of his former social security benefits.
I digress, but have you ever tasted Lotus Biscoff cookies. The wrapper claims them to be Europe's favorite cookie with coffee, but that is likely a boast as Thomas's English Muffins, touted to be England's favorite, which "Mr. Thomas" brought to America, probably because he just likes us so much. Epic and insincere marketing stories that surely must be directed towards the national loyalty of children and/or those who like coffee. Those cookies are tasty, though.
So, anyway, I have more money to fuss around with. I have mostly been using it to buy better quality food, as well as plenty of not-entirely-essential foodstuffs. But, a bit more money would go a long way to allowing me to do more stuff.
Nothing huge or anything, but this year's health crap has brought me a greater awareness that I am not going to live forever, and the recent broadcast media remembrances of celebrities deaths during this year are helping to reinforce that notion.
I want to do more stuff because, well, because we never know when we will no longer to do all of the things we not only do now but all of the things we wished we had done. I am learning to release regret about my failures in the past and I would love to die with fewer regrets about what I could have done whilst I had the chance.
So, I talked to my reps' contact person at the financial place and I am going to begin taking chunks of that money and turning it into potential pleasure.
I want to spend more time doing things that my grandsons like to do whilst they are still young enough to want to spend time with me.
We have already talked about taking a train trip to see the Grand Canyon this summer, fitting in between their summer sports activities and family time. I used to take train trips whenever I could. Mostly simple day rides other places, but I did visit the Canyon in the year before leaving that other life. I had thought that I would go west and just not come back. Too timid for that, although I was glad that I had found the gumption to try it.
So, the Canyon with the boys. Maybe drag their parents along, too.
They like going to see movies and to visit that place with all the bouncy houses, or that gymnastics place or the one with the rock climbing wall and archery. It will not be long before those interests will fade and be replaced by interests that cannot include a grandma tagging along, if only to watch them play whilst I read books and people watch.
I have not thought past those two things, but if I try I could bet pretty good at this business of fun.
So. A few dozen consecutive, or nearly so, days of
doing my little bits of caring more and taking more care of the world.
Not bad, I guess, although I can feel my enthusiasm lagging as I type. All I can do is my best and that is enough. It also occurs to me that this project, cobbled together as it is, can also be about not being held captive to artificial constraints and boundaries.
Could be interesting.
Oh, one more thing is that I am really and truly going to try to spend less time complaining. Choosing positivity can can be a part of this as well.