Identify what is most important )0( Eliminate everything else
The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world. Dr. Paul Farmer
The suffering of others is not alleviated when no one knows about it.
There is no one right way to live. Daniel Quinn Ishmael
The only thing that you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right sort of people.
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. Kurt Vonnegut

Wednesday, December 21, 2016


In the past 24 hours I have done everything nearly the opposite of what I am supposed to be doing.

I have been working on that whole sleep hygiene thing.  You know, regular bedtimes, regular wake-ups, no distractions in the bedroom.  I have never had television or radio or even cute dancing boys where I sleep.  But, I have horrible insomnia whilst trying to get enough sleep so that I can make it through any day that needs to have me make it through.

I am also not to read in bed.  If I cannot sleep, I have to get up, sit someplace (rocking chair in my bedroom is fine) and read the most boring thing I can find.  Like appliance manuals or something.  I almost made a joke about reading the Bible, but I find it a fascinating read, as are most holy scriptures and texts.  Just pick a faith practice and try it.  You will be stunned at how wonderful and interesting all of that stuff is.  Same thing goes for physics, particularly the quantum type. 

Anyway, when you get tired of learning about your toaster oven, you can go back to bed, turn off the lights and just stay there until you either fall asleep or have to start all over again.  Most of the time this will work for a day or three and then I spend a week with little sleep until I cheat.  Well, I do.

My natural rhythms prefer that if I have something important to do that it begin in late afternoons and early evenings.  They also like it if I stay up late and sleep in later than works well in the practice of an ordinary day.  It is less of a conundrum than it was before I retired, but it is still a pain to be out of sync with the rest of the world most of the time.

I am trying to eat well.  Or, at least better.

And, yes, despite whatever crap you have heard about there is no such thing as trying.  There is only do or not do, trying is a valid and reasonable thing to do on one's life.  Trying means that you intend to do your best for/with/on something that is challenging, even something one would prefer to not do.  Trying is often the best that one can do.  It just is.

Anyway, I have trouble eating meat.  Not only is it expensive, but you have to cook it and it makes messy pots and pans and it is not all that easy to digest, and whilst I am most often able to enjoy it, it just has so many strikes against it.

I prefer raw food, always have.  Vegetables, even those that are more nutritional when cooked, some fruits (also expensive and I have to pay attention to how much sugar I eat, even natural ones), cottage cheese and the occasional dairy something, sprouted grains, millet and the ilk.  Like that.

Food is my drug of choice.  I am a food addict, of the purest kind.  It has taken me a lifetime to come to terms with this, but it is simply another one of those things that is what it is.

I am stunningly careful about doing the right things, but today I did none of it.  I was as contrary as it is possible to be without realizing that I was being contrary. 

It just happened and I am feeling better than I have in months.  I swear.  Months!

  • Last night I could not sleep, so got up, completely cleaned and rearranged the boys' room.  Moved an end table downstairs.  Packed away some bedding Then I read in bed until I fell asleep.
  • Arose when I woke up naturally. 
  • Ate a very late lunch, having only arisen after 10:30 a.m.  Unfortunately, I had not yet come to my senses and ate a lovely couscous and raw vegetable salad that I made myself.  However, it was so delicious it could have felt like cheating had I been aware that I was in the midst of a day chock full of the best kinds of cheating...ever.
  • Had Chinese food for dinner, late, after the Advent program at the boys' school's church.  Brought home leftovers and the wait person gave me extra white rice!   Sweet!
  • Ate a chocolate swirl croissant with fudgy stuff drizzled all over it and with each bite I spritzed a dollop of spray whipped cream on it, alternating with shooting the heavenly white fluff directly into my mouth.
The croissant snack was possible only because I stopped at the market after the restaurant dinner to get mandarins, crushed pineapple, fresh orange juice and dried cranberries to add to some of the couscous salad for lunch tomorrow at work.

I am also proud to have purchased instant oatmeal, bottled water, a piece of cake from the bakery department.  There is still some whipped cream left, so I might have that for breakfast.  Just that.

So then, what have I learned today?  I have no idea, but feeling this good is very interesting.  It is most likely some kind of crazy fugue state before I crash.  Regardless, I am off to bed, to read until I fall asleep.

What a kick-ass day this has been.  And, the church thing was nice, although I wish those church Christmas things would modern-up and play Mary Did You Know.  I loved it from the moment I heard it on the radio (car, not bedroom :) ) last year. 

1 comment:

  1. You are such a character, J. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and that 2017 brings you better health. Come and say hello to us on the forum as you know we miss you.