I am still deciding if I will do that here. The recent utility bill changed all of my weekend plans to finally start taking stuff out of boxes and creating order and relative permanence here.
So, I am cleaning and looking for stuff to divest from some of those boxes. There are not a lot of them, and I could completely do everything in a couple of days, which was supposed to be yesterday and today. The disorder is uncomfortable. And, yet, here I sit, checking the upcoming weather.
And, I had to come to the computer anyway because the new thermostat was never programmed and I think that might be causing the furnace to go on more often. That and the new heater might be part of the heating problems here. Once here I noticed that my documents are a mess, with lots of them not even in folders.
Ah, not exactly unpacking, but cleaning never the less. I found some jokes I had been collecting and am putting them here because some of them made me chuckle, but also because it is a way to waste time and not do anything useful.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
"Smells like carrots."
Two atoms are walking down the street and one says "Stop! I lost an electron."
The other atom ask, "Are you sure?"
The first atom replies, "I'm positive."
Who's a bee's favorite singer?
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
Because when he tried to make a second one he made a boo-boo.
What did the doctor say to the patient when he finished the appendectomy?
"That's enough out of you."
How many people are there in Rio?
At least a Brazilian.
What do snakes put on their kitchen floors?
What do you call donating your body to a medical school?
A Dead Give-away
Did you hear about the guy that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on him.
Who wears a black mask and always smells great?
The Cologne Ranger.
What did the clock say to the watch?
Tock to you later.
Which Knight makes pottery?
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Take a cod, any cod.
Why don't you ever see chickens in the zoo?
Because they can't afford the admission.
Why are pirates so popular?
They just arrrr.
What knight has extra goods to sell?
What does the gorilla call his girlfriend?
His prime mate.
What do you get when you cross a lobster with a baseball player?
A pinch hitter.
What do you call a stolen sausage?
A missing link.
What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek?
What did the lobster major in at the police academy?
Why did the watch stop?
It was running fast all week.
How are a tornado and an redneck divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
Are there blood banks in England?
I don't know. But there's a liver pool.
How do alligators make phone calls?
When you swim in a creek,
And an eel bites your cheek,
That's a moray.
MURPHY'S OTHER 15 LAWS...
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those that wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Not a joke, but it is something I wanted to remember and putting it here means that one more document goes to the trash.
The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.
Oliver Wendell Holmes