Identify what is most important )0( Eliminate everything else
The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world. Dr. Paul Farmer
The suffering of others is not alleviated when no one knows about it.
There is no one right way to live. Daniel Quinn Ishmael
The only thing that you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right sort of people.
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. Kurt Vonnegut

Wednesday, February 27, 2013


¡Viva la Revolución!

Bite me. 

I have had it.  Whatever it is.  I am sick and tired of being cold all the time.  Yesterday was a turning point of some kind.  The car needed jump-starting and a long visit to my car guys.  Once the car was running I was unable to turn off the engine until they could replace the battery.  Since it was an hour until they were available, I had to drive for a bit, then went through a drive-through (for which I was very grateful, having this excuse for fast food...full-bore-greasiness and total yum factor) for lunch, then into the service bay.

 During that time I froze in the car because the heater does not work.  Then when I returned home I froze because I have to  be able to pay the utility bill next month.  CoolCat was buried under the covers, as usual, and that just does me in, that he has to suffer along with me.

Anyway.  A quick trip for groceries on the way home, and a drive through the worsening storm.  Zero visibility.  More than two inches of snow falling every hour.  High winds.  Slick road surfaces.  Idiots who think they are driving in June, high-noon, sun shining, birds singing, unicorns eating butterflies and pooping rainbows.  Traffic came to a standstill several times when it was difficult to even see the car in front of you.  Thank god and blessings for those drivers behind me who were paying attention.  Pretend curses (do not do real ones) for the afaforementioned itdiots who sped out from who knows where, flashes of vehicles shooting through tiny spaces between cars, causing untold fright.  Idiots.  Not that I am the teeniest bit judgemental, of course.

Shoveled some truly heavy snow so that I could keep ahead of the storm spew and be able to make it to work in the morning.  I work/volunteer at a city agency and they never close, no matter how bad the weather and road conditions are.

 Man, that stuff was heavy.  I managed to do the porch, both sets of stairs, a short path to the sidewalk, the sidewalk, the area where I park the car (so I could actually get in there) and the six-foot end of the driveway, especially the part where the plows had thrown up all these ginormous, sodden chunks.  Then salted everything.

Not too bad.  My back hurt and I was exhausted, but I have to say that doing that, the shoveling, makes my heart sing.  I quite like doing it.  My landlord lives in another city and he waits, justifiably so, until the storm is over before he does any snow removal.  Unfortunately, some people need to be able to get off the property before he can do that, so it is my pleasure to shovel.  It helps me, it helps him, it even helps the other tenant.  

By this morning my back felt better, but it was so freaking cold and, well, I just snapped.  I went to the thermostat and changed all of the settings to 57F, except for the 10:00 p.m. one, which is staying at 52F.  Then, a bit later, I needed to go into the bedroom and CoolCat was cuddled up the the heating vent and if I could cry, I would have.  

 There is not any reason why he should have to suffer so, and whilst I knew he was feeling the cold, I had no idea.  Just did not.  So, fuck the heating bills.  When I run out of money,  I will deal with that then.    

The heat is flowing as I write this and it pleases me, even though I am not there to enjoy it.  The roads are too bad for my morning clients to make it here and in a little while I am going to noodle around for directions on making a mailing envelope wallet.  Maybe I will watch videos, cats, or little boys being silly, or spiders.  Maybe I will on-line search for a job, one that pays actual money to people who are just thaaaat much crippled.   If nothing else, it will be interesting and I will come across jobs that would be perfect for some of my clients.

I feel different today.  Weary of the crap, I still have to have it, deal with it (why does someone think that he can just keep violating court orders?) (why can I not just get the heck over how much this bothers me), but I do not need to let it defeat me.    I am saving my angst for the arrival of next month's utility bill.  Until then I will shovel and play with CoolCat, luxuriate in the heat wave at home, watch DVDs and have chocolate.  

I am declaring an angst-free zone.

 Bite me.  


  1. Yeah, until I slip back into the angst slipstream. Trying to make those visits shorter and shorter.