independence

Fourth of July is celebrated as Independence Day, when, well, all that stuff happened.  So, being the associative person that I am, I reflect on my own independence, because that is the sort of self-absorbed person that I am.  But, not really.  For the most part, most of my navel-gazing is over.  I still like introspection, but I seem to need it less and less.

When I moved last year, I landed in a location that is pretty much smack-dab in the middle of my city's (gosh, I still like claiming this city so much) July 4th parade route.  It was one of the selling points made by my landlord when I looked at this flat.

Parades, lots of people, bands, lots of people, thanks, but despite my desire to embrace and enjoy parades, I just cannot.  One of the other people who lives here in this house has company for a few weeks and the other person is having a big party.  I know this because she posted an open invitation to anyone who reads Facebook.  In fairness, she shared the party part with me weeks ago and that is cool.  As long as I do not have to participate she can do whatever she likes.

And, I like her.  Very much, as well as her sons, her family and friends.  She is a good neighbor and this old house is the perfect place to have a big party and celebrate.  She invited me for breakfast and lunch and dinner and beverages and a water balloon fight and everything.  I wish, half-heartedly, that I still enjoyed big gatherings.  It would be nice to spend the day celebrating something, and I will.  The Fourth is a big deal here, in all of its contexts. 

Parking on the parade route was restricted as of midnight and it was weird to see an empty street before I went to bed last night.  I slept late this morning, waking only when the ice cream truck passed by the first time.  Brilliant that.  Only uber local, as in actual residents, vehicle traffic is blocked, but they give access to the ice cream truck.  Every time it passed the house it was an old-timey, nearly iconic representation of summer days and simple pleasures.  Sweet.

The street is packed with people who claimed viewing spots sometime during the night.  Our side of the street is in shade because of the tall, old, Victorian houses here.  My neighbor, the one who is partying all day, claimed the driveway portion with a camping canopy and there has been a steady stream of people moving along the sidewalks.  I still am not fond of parades or crowds of people, but I have to admit that the whole thing is beginning to grow on me.  Maybe, if I am still here next year I will make it out to the porch.

I am celebrating, though.  Breakfast of hot dogs on these really cool ciabatta buns I found at the market.  Chicken curry for dinner and I will toast the spirit of the day with a nice martini.  I might go out to watch the fireworks tonight; I might not.  I have talked to CoolCat about the noise, which will only increase when the parade begins.  Since I do not attend to parades, I do not know much beyond people sitting along the route and cool stuff moving past them.  The talking to my cat is ordinary, with only the two of us living here.  But, he is already mildly alarmed by the sounds from outside and is lounging close to me.

Funny thing that, CoolCat and me.  I keep hearkening back to this, keep thinking and repeating this, but I really never thought that I could have a life anywhere close to what I now have.  It truly is independence in a manner that I could not have imagined.  So, I guess I am introspective and centered on my own circumstances this morning.  Just sort of acknowledging and honoring it.  Managing yesterday's situation is part of the good feelings I am having today. 

Oh, here comes the ice cream truck again...have to go look!  It is right across the street and all kinds of people are lining up for cold treats.  A man with a tall, like really tall cart is walking in the other direction.  It has all kinds of shiny stuff on it and is topped with tons of balloons, stars and mylar and Dora the Explora'.  Alrighty, this is cool.
Now that the whole divorce mess is officially over, I am able to reflect on how I hope that my ex is feeling the same ways that I do.  I hope that he is happy and free of everything.  I think that the process of writing this morning is helping me in a new way.  Sure, looking back at the past and seeing how far all of us have come, although I am guessing about everyone except for me.  I was so naïve, so unprepared for everything that has happened.  Now I am smarter, stronger, moving on to some pretty exciting new possible ventures.  I was thinking the other day that I might be ready to dip back into painting. 

All things honored, I think that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.