Especially when you come home from a long day of having your head and intellect challenged. Oh, the heart gets its share as well.
The best, yummy part of yesterday was harvesting...should such a thing be possible in a 1-foot-square garden...some young zucchinis and six tomatoes. I finished the last four this morning for lunch.
The tomatoes are from the mystery plant that I bought on sale. It came with lots of little, green tomatoes on it and I began to worry about how they were not getting much bigger as the weeks and tender loving care went on. They were already larger than cherry tomatoes when I bought the plant, but too small to be regular tomatoes. When picked yesterday, they were nicely red, but still really small. Golf ball sized, or maybe marginally bigger.
They were so small that I was able to balance one on the top of my back flat neighbor's door knob. Their skin is thick, so that must mean that tons and tons of vitamins and minerals and other good stuff are safely tucked under there. The taste was very nice. But, for flavour, I am waiting for the Krims, in my opinion one of the most wonderfully delicious tomatoes.
There are lots of greenies on the cherry tomato plant and lots of bell peppers growing. As usual, the parsley is glorious.
Spiritual counseling was fine. I do not know where this is going, or has the potential to go, but it is very helpful to have a place and person where I can talk all of this out. Sister has some excellent insights about what I am feeling and have experienced over the past few years. I can hardly believe that this began, the actual day, nearly eighteen months ago. I have been settle here for nearly a year. Amazing.
Anyway, I was able to figure out and articulate some of the things I do not want.
I do not want to be born again.
I do not want to be part of a church that is wildly patriarchal.
I do not want to be part again of a church where women do not have the opportunity to have a more active and proactive and leadership role in their church community.
I do not want to be a member of a church that is not invested in both philosophy and practice in the larger community, or does not have outreach and neighborhood/city projects.
So, that is a beginning.
And, whilst I am attracted to the Baptist church I have attended, I think that the general beliefs held and practiced there are what I like, but it is a more physical-focal church practice than might be comfortable for me. I like being there, but, well, I am just not sure. I think that something more meditative might be a better fit.
There are six churches, a synagog and a Masonic center within walking distance of my home, not that I will be actually walking to any of them. I can hear the bells from some of them, and I mention the Masonic place only because it is so beautiful. It is my plan to visit one or two in the next few weeks.
When I visit my daughter and am there on Sunday mornings, I attend services with them. I like it a lot. It is some kind of non-denominational church, but I know many of the songs, and it is easy to settle into the rhythms of those that are new to me; besides, they have songbooks. One of the times I attended that church, after the service I was choosing something yummy from the baked goods that they offer for their casual meeting time; if they have an official name for it, but it is nice to meet those people. A woman approached me, as many members do, and I thought she was going to give me the regular "Nice to meet you. Are you thinking of joining our church?" Instead, she told me that she liked my singing and invited me to join the choir. I mention this not because I have a good voice, which I do not, it is plain, like my appearance. I share it only because it is a lovely example of how accepting and welcoming and non-pushy or evangelical the church members are.
As for the rest of this journey, I really do not know if I will be able to find a decent fit in town here. Now that have begun serious examination of where I am in my spiritual life, I am having the random thought that I might already be close to where I need to be. But, I will never know unless I get out there and meet people and respectfully observe and share their practices.
In the meantime, I will continue to weed and water my garden, consider where my life might want to go and take my certification test this weekend. Maybe roll over for a nap. CoolCat would like that. Maybe put up some more shelving and do more organizing and divesting. Maybe sit on the porch and watch the tomatoes not grow.