collapsing to one reality

Happy Birthday, Erwin!  

Schrodinger.

I do not understand physics, although that does nothing to prevent me from being thrilled and fascinated by it, whatever it is. 

All I really do understand is that our Universe,,,maybe much more I just do not understand...is one huge something, like an ocean of energy, like as in unlimitedness, a place where limit does not exist, where existence, reality if you will...and I am not sure I will, because I do not understand...flips into and out of actually being something and repeats without end or limit.  Something like that.

I embrace the idea of everything being energy.  One thing I learned is that our reality is only what we decide it will be.  Like everything is this quantum soup when it is out of our notice, our attention, our acceptance of whatever our reality is, just churning around out of our line of sight.  In front of me everything looks ordered, or as ordered as my personal space can get, but back there, just around the curve of my head is this amazing, incomprehensible and glorious everything.

When I look at my hand (the only safe body part to observe lately), it looks solid.  It feels solid.  I can move all the parts.  Pinch and squish my old lady skin.  I can see the veins and feel my pulse at my wrist.  It is a good, strong pulse, and I am happy to have it.

I can clip my nails and buff them to an uneven shine.  I can move that weird spiral ring around and around.  I can pick things up, open a soda can, bring it to my lips and drink the pretence of sweetness.

As useful and interesting as my hand is, the truth is that it is something like 0.9999999999999999999999 (toinfinityandbeyondmaybe) empty space.  I think there are genuine molecules of me there, each surrounded by invisible energy.

I just love that.  And, I would not be thinking about it if Google had not celebrated Mr. Schrodinger's birthday.  And, I choose to believe that his love of cats influenced him to place one in his box.  And, even though, beyond a stunningly elementary level, I do not understand that whole thing either.

I think that learning from the cat in the box that something can be both one way and another way as well at the same time was an important thing to learn.  I have always been interested in science of all kinds, and quantum physics just rings my bells.  So, over the years I have read many books on it, as well as biology, my second favorite only because it was tumbled from the throne of interests by physics. 

I used to have a cool book, the cover was pink and blue, it was written by a woman, and maybe that it made it more comprehensible to me.  It was dumbed down for people smarter than me, but I still learned so much from that book.  I wish I still had it, as I liked to just open it to a random page and luxuriate in the words.  It would be a wonderful surprise if, when I finally get around to the three boxes of books I saved from that other life, to find it.  It would be quantum.

So, anyway, the knowledge that something can be two, maybe more, things at once is just nice.  More importantly, it explains so much of everyday life. 

You can be going along, doing what you have to do and, you know, there were times when I wondered about the possibilities of the path not taken.  My life was like that, the reality and the lost reality of the other side of the choices I had made, was making.

Energy.  Empty space.  The myriad options, the effect of the observer, who forces the observed to default to one aspect or the other.  The realization that my reality is what I make it.  There is not any magic, as much as I want there to be.  Or, are there multiverses where, in the realm of possibility all things are possible.  Limitless.  I like those movies.

And, as weird as this sounds, when I finally paid attention to my life, when, through some miracle, some perfect storm of circumstance and who knows what the hell else.  Some place inside me that wanted to live, only it is not that simple. It was quantum, and that is good enough for me.

Multiple universes or not, I am not only the creatress of my life, my universe, I am its observer.  When I do that, observe, I am doing what I choose to do, want, need, must.  There is a part of being the observer that confuses me, and I cannot be the only one, so I researched it.

That whole observation collapsing the possibilities to one thing, one reality is not understood by anyone, not just me.  That is both comforting and quantum.

Happy Birthday, Erwin.  I got cake for ya here, so stop by on the weekend.  I know you can do it, quantumatively.