The lack of empathy is such a sad character flaw.
It has esteemed company.
All that jazz...
The most important of these is on a slightly different plane. It is courage.
It takes courage to stand against the tide of complying with the dumb stuff held by other people.
It takes courage to stand up for everything you believe in.
It takes courage to overcome your
unwillingness to put yourself in the shoes/life circumstances of someone else who is different from you.
Today I had a melt-down of epic measure. I would not say that I am anywhere near feeling pride about standing up, but even though it has lost me several on-line friends, with more to follow I am sure, I have been holding this thing in for a long time because, well, because I wanted friends. I just lacked the courage to say anything when some of them behaved cruelly, without heart or understanding...or empathy for another person.
Because I wanted people I do not even know in person to like me. Or, at least not hate me or think me stupid. Or, something.
So, I snapped on, of all places, Facebook, where I rarely post anything, infrequently reply and really go there to play games. I like the bubble games. I like them a lot. They are useful for maintaining a couple levels of brain function, the least of which is eye to hand coordination.
If you make it to my age and do not do something every single day to keep your brain all juiced up, calcification of essential parts and their functions will soon, regularly, ruin your day.
A juiced brain is a good brain, and the Internet is most likely the best thing to ever happen to us old folk.
So, that is why I was there and why I just could not take it any more. I am ashamed of myself for not speaking up so many times. Had I done so, those people would have dumped me long ago, but at least I would not be carrying this shame for a while.
I have no trouble sharing how I feel when someone does something mean or says something stupid, careless and uninformed to another person. I am not very assertive about it, but I do manage to choke out something supportive. It is easier to do with strangers, like when the person in line with me at the grocery store...front or back of me...is rude or says something mean to/about the person checking-out the crap we all buy. Places and circumstances like that do not unduly alarm me into keeping silent.
Friends are different. They should not be; they just are.
But, this long-term thing with on-line people just rattles me, upsets me that I am so dependent on these people liking me. Heck, any people liking me.
It is really hard, being human. And, whether or not today's tirade leaves me without any virtual friends, I am glad that I finally pulled up my big girl panties and did the right thing. I guess now that my game playing will not be interrupted by anyone wanting to say how nice I am. Well.