Identify what is most important )0( Eliminate everything else
The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world. Dr. Paul Farmer
The suffering of others is not alleviated when no one knows about it.
There is no one right way to live. Daniel Quinn Ishmael
The only thing that you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right sort of people.
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. Kurt Vonnegut

Thursday, August 15, 2013


Thursdays are interesting in that at least once a month I begin therapy early in the morning and finish a bit more than three hours later.

The first session is the the Sister who is patiently listening to me struggle with all things faith related. 

Second was regular therapy, which went well.  She wants to have more discussions about what my next steps might be, job-wise, but until all of the testing is finished that is a non-issue.  We all know what I want and we just have to wait.  I was hoping to hear something today.  Still tomorrow. 

Lastly was group.  I have discovered that it is not a good idea, no matter what the conventional thought might be otherwise, to peer counsel members of a group to which you belong.  There is too much overlap, and for one of the women with whom I work, her expectations of how much time I should be spending with her are increasing.  It is not healthy and is inappropriate on so many levels.         

That woman became ill during group and I drove her home, which is fine.  During the ride she kept a steady conversation about what I do most of the time and that we should repeat the day that I helped her with errands.  You know, if I am going to continue doing this part of my work, the therapist that facilitates the group and I need to meet and establish some guidelines.  I sort of fell into this when she asked if the woman could have my telephone number.  She is an intern this year and I am just dumb, old me, so it was a true beginner's misstep.

Everything will work out.  I will find out if I passed the exam in time to register with the state examiners.  I will find the ways to help without the possibility of causing hurt.  I want pizza.  I am pretty much craving pizza.  I cannot go get pizza because I shopped on the way home today and I have lots of food in the house.  I have some really excellent celery and lovely carrots and red bell peppers.  And hummus.  It is going to be delicious, but it will not be pizza.


Whilst I used triumvirate fairly close to the definition, there is one more thing.  Months ago I was worried about what I would do with my life when I ran out of problems.  Granted, the stuff I was facing and the challenges with which I was dealing were crappy, sometimes the the nth degree, and I knew that things would either work out or not, or even become worse.  Personal safety has still not been resolved.  Probably will not be for some time.  If ever.  However, I am taking precautions and feel as comfortable with the whole mess, at least as comfortable as anyone can be near a city that is experiencing record-breaking gun shootouts, random shootings, retaliatory battles and murders.

That level of problems is in my past...knock wood...and I am kind of pleased to be transitioning into normal life problems, at least what passes for normal.  It is very nice to have issues and problems what do not have the potential to kill me.  So, I no longer have to stress about the end of my whining and navel-gazing.  That knowledge would go so great with a nice pepperoni pie.  Does anyone deliver to this part of town?


  1. I just loved your statement of "what to do with my life when I ran out of problems" what makes you think anyone's life runs that smooth that there will be no more problems? Our journey of life is and will always be challenged. How else are we to grow and get the wisdom that we need (by the way I find you have so much wisdom and insight into so many aspects of life)

  2. At that time, I had not had a normal life, having spent decades under the strict rules and control of someone else.

    Before I learned that not everyone lived the way we did, I had only a media-informed sense of what the life of anyone else could be, and my main focus was on surviving...although I was not able to see that then.

    With each of the ass-propelled insights I came to understand that my old normal was going to be replaced by something new. I did not think that anyone had a life without problems...I read books :)..., but there is something that happens with how I lived, in that I never really experienced normal, everyday, everyone, ordinary problems.

    So, as I continued to heal and move forward, I struggled to see, discover, how that would happen, crafting a normal life (no such thing, by the way) and whilst I never believed that there would be at some time a place in my life where it was always high noon, birds singing, sun shining and all that jazz, I was not sure what this new life was going to look like.

    You know. Like that.