Identify what is most important )0( Eliminate everything else
The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world. Dr. Paul Farmer
The suffering of others is not alleviated when no one knows about it.
There is no one right way to live. Daniel Quinn Ishmael
The only thing that you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right sort of people.
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. Kurt Vonnegut

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


I wonder if it is only my age that makes sleep so irregular for me. 

Most nights I am able to fall right into dreamland, although my bedtime is an hour or two later than it used to be.  Other nights, like tonight, I am not the teeniest bit tired, even though I was exhausted and yawning mid-day. 

Now, it is nearly midnight and here I am, sitting and typing after trying to relax and fall asleep.  I am going to go back to bed in a moment, read some more of my book and hope for the best.

I know that sleep habits and patterns change as we get older.  I know that we need less sleep at this age.  But, I am tired of being awake all night and having to function well during the day without resorting to a nap.

I am feeling some stresses.  Still waiting to hear about my exam results.  I e-mailed the director and she answered back this afternoon that the exams are still being graded, and that she will make sure that my results are ready for me before the deadline next week for the state certification.  If I have received a passing score, that would be great.  If not, I just can begin studying again, something I planned on doing anyway, just to make sure that I am internalizing all of the materials.  That is stress number one tonight.

Tomorrow after the head shrinking and group, I will be biting the budget and finally getting some things that will make cooking more efficient, maybe easier.  I will be buying a frying pan, a couple of smallish sauce pans, some knives (saw what I want at one of the dollar stores), a butter dish, some bowls and maybe a new dish pan.  The dish pan I use is plastic and they really last only so long before they get all scratched up and hard to clean.  Another stress. 

After being here for a year, cooking with a tiny frying pan and a couple of stock pots is much less fun than I thought it would be.

I am going to develop new sleeping habits.  I have never had a television in my bedroom, so that will stay the same.  I do read before sleep.  That is not likely to change, as more than forty years of doing that has left me unable to sleep without having a book fall out of my hands when I drift off.  I went without pre-sleep reading for two weeks and was never able to create any new rhythms or practices.

I figure that if reading results in falling asleep a half hour or so later, then that is a small trade for not being able to fall asleep, and waking again several times.

But, I really am going to try a whole bunch of different things to make sleep easier.  I found a couple of meditation and relaxation techniques, a lighting thing, and I might go back to using a white noise machine, or use a small fan to create the same thing.

I love zombies and all of their stories, but I hate being sleep deprived and walking around like one. 

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