Identify what is most important )0( Eliminate everything else
The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world. Dr. Paul Farmer
The suffering of others is not alleviated when no one knows about it.
There is no one right way to live. Daniel Quinn Ishmael
The only thing that you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right sort of people.
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. Kurt Vonnegut

Thursday, July 24, 2014


Leftover steak

bag salad
hot dogs  - It was National Hot Dog Day, and the ones I ate were meat and seasonings without any preservatives or stuff like that.

bag-o-shaved-deli-corned beef

I had this bag of corned beef because I was going to mix it with sauerkraut, heat it up and douse with bottled thousand island dressing.

Unfortunately, I do not have a can opener.  Ooopsie.  So, I ate just the meat.

sweet potato, microwaved, butter, pepper and some salt on the last bits because they did not have any butter or pepper taste.

4 pieces of fish sushi
some baked chicken, meat only
green beans
a handful of cubed potatoes and a whole glob of wasabi - very yummy
soft drink

Yes, I had to eat out and went to my favorite Asian buffet.  I showed great restraint and did not fill up on their amazing hot and sour soup, that is thick and chock full of seaweed, mushroom stems and bits of tofu.  Instead I ate healthy choices, aside from giving into temptation for the potatoes, sushi and green beans.  I ate very little, at least for me, and left barely satisfied, which satisfied my desire to eat well and minimized the fact that I chose that place to eat instead of going to a grocery store and buying a salad.

drive-through burger and fries

In my defense, today was stressful (including a thoroughly distressing visit to my cell phone provider) I was stopped by a police officer and given a warning about replacing the driver's side brake light bulb, stopping at the auto place, buying a pack of replacement bulbs, tearing the trunk apart to get to the place where you can replace the bulbs, and discovering that you cannot do that from inside the car.

This is the car I was forced to take got in the divorce, that miserable piece of metal parts that has cost me a small fortune to fix all the stuff that my ex knew needed fixing and then charged me back an insane amount of compensation.  I am dumb, but at that time I was incapable of standing up for myself and just let him and his family fuck the beans out of me during that entire time and on through the final decree. 

The car does not have a manual and I had to figure out how to remove the entire assembly, with only a little pliers.  And, I did it.  It took me a half hour, but I figured it out, removed the whole light section, replaced the bulb and got it all back together.  The best part is that it worked!  Too cool.

So, hot and tired and relieved that I was able to figure that out, I drove through a fast food place and ate on the way home.  I am sad to report that it tasted more wonderful than I could have ever imagined, and that has nothing to do with not having to cook it myself.  I ate only part of the bun bottom and the fries were cold and did not have any salt on them, but, oh gosh, it was so good. 

Had I not already started feeling a tiny bit uncomfortable about eating out twice today, I swear that I would have driven back and bought more fries.  So good.

The thing that happened at work on Sunday, the one for which I was feeling ashamed, turned out fine.  When I went to our director to share what I had done, instead of cautioning me to avoid doing anything similar in the future, she told me that making up my own rules for that circumstance is exactly what she wants me to do, what she wants all of the advocates to do, but that she does not expect that the other will take the initiative to do anything like what I did.


I work tomorrow and Sunday and then have a whole bunch of days off.  Yay.

Tomorrow is back to eating well.  I plan to buy more corned beef and make that mixy-mess.  On Monday I will be looking at replacing the refrigerator here.  The landlord should be doing this, but is not going to and I am tired of losing food in that crappy freezer.  If I find one I can afford, I will take it with me when I move, if I move.

I am also going to look for a few new pieces of clothing.  I do not have any warm weather clothes, just all the stuff I wear year-round.  I would like some short sleeved tops, although I suspect that I will not be willing to spend the money.  Maybe I will do this.  Maybe not. 

I am hoping to find something social to do next week.  I really would like to have a personal life, you know, doing something more than working.  I am thinking to start small.  Walk downtown and have a cup of coffee or lunch or something.  Maybe I will just sit in the square (yes, how quaint we are here), read and watch people.  Maybe someone I know will wander past.  Maybe I will walk down to the beach and sit on the rocks.  Maybe I will walk down the block and look at the house I would like to buy.

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